Back in Black

HELLO everyone...It's been a while since any of us posted, mainly because blogs are gay. But, in our attempts to make them un-gay, we have started running again kinda, and feel like filling you in (that's what she said.)

Last December (2009) we ran in the Jingle All The Way 10K, in West Potomac Park, DC. It was very cold, and my penis knew this before I did. The race started at 7:45 am, and was FREEZING. But, it was a nice street run, and DC Mayor Adrien Fenty was there running. He is one sexy bitch, and like me that morning, his nipples were harder than Tuthankhamun's burial mask.

Cookies Are Delicious

Would you like a cookie?



Mr. Elephant loves cookies!

Sometimes you need to let your aggression out like our good Jewish ally Adam Sandler does in the Wedding Singer.

I think a lot of us need to relieve stress that is built up. Often times sex is a great stress reliever but for those who don't have that regular stimulation running provides an excellent way to drive that stress level down. It is something to consider. I suggest taking this under consideration next time you feel overwhelmed with whatever is happening in your life. Work stress, relationship stress, friends stress, and countless others.

Just hop outside and go run. Run fast, slow, far, short..... whatever you need to do to release that inner anxiety that is eating you up inside.

Idols and Comedy

Homer Simpson is someone we all know and at times can relate to. I myself like to be lazy, drink and eat a lot of food. I am talking massive quantities of consumption. I used to eat Doritos and put Tabasco sauce on them. This is a time to be honest.

Something my father said to me was "Dan.....I'm 50 years old and I can still run, bike, eat and drink more than you. You are an embarrassment to the Fogarty clan" this motivating factor is what inspired me to get my ass out the door and on the asphalt.

We can all take a lesson from him.

The man himself

*He didn't really say that.

O My...

So I was searching through the Washington Running Report, and I came across a very fun race called the Germantown 5 miler on May 16th.

I thought it was fun until I looked at the race logo...Do you see what I see?





Someone needs to tell Himler, or whoever created this race that swastikas have been banned throughout Germany, and are not a nice thing. I wonder what they do to the jews who run this thing? Forget 5 miles, I won't be within 180 miles from this race.

I guess I should've taken a hint that this race was racist, when they asked for t-shirt sizes, small , medium, or yellow arm band...

Fucked up.

Sincerely,

Matt "I'm Jewish" Greenberg

Our Blog's Fan of the Month!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen I am happy to announce our 1st ever Fan of the Month!



The fan is none other than DC native, and VA potty trained Andrew Corcoran, better known as Shizzam by family and friends.

"Andrew was a tough pick" said the blog moderator, "it was between him and Dan Fogarty."

Mr. Corcoran was awarded this prestigious honor after it was discovered that he visited Don't Throw The Candy So Hard a record 93 times in just one week. Way to go Shizzam!

When Andrew is not looking at our blog, he enjoys reading, walking, talking on the phone, playing checkers with Gabe and biting the heads off of live bats.

Thanks Andrew, now please stop calling us.

Love,

Don't Throw The Candy So Hard

Try Running

I just think that some people need to try running. Its such a simple activity. You don't need anything. If you think about it you don't technically need shoes or clothes. So you cannot say its too expensive (although i recommend buying all of your shoes and clothing from CITY SPORTS at citysports.com)

But this Kristy Alley, whom we all remember from Look Who's Talking Now, is fat. She is fat.

She doesn't need to be and why would you want to be? And its not just her but so many others. I am not thin, I am actually obese according to the BMI index (although i think the formula was invented by little, tiny skinny people). Just keep in mind that you can look good, feel good, be good, smell ok, if you just run. And if people say its bad for you its because they are some of the laziest people.

Brought to you be MotionMotivators Inc.